ICO Update: EtherInc (aka eInc) or “Can we get a do over?”

The ass clowns 🍑🤡 at Tokenicide recently learned that Ethereum whitepaper appropriating blockchain startup EtherInc (a.k.a. “eInc”) has rescheduled its ICO.

Again.

Is it true that the “third time’s the charm?”

Apparently not, because this is the FOURTH public token sale date they have announced…

Angry Face Saying "Are You Fucking Kidding Me"
We wish…

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Ultimate Douchebag’s Guide to Launching an ICO Part 2: Know Your Audience

There are basically three types of people who invest in ICOs, and if you’re going to ask them to fund your early retirement, you’d better know how to identify and communicate with them. In this installment of the Ultimate Douchebag’s Guide to Launching an ICO, we’ll teach you how to do just that. So quit fucking around and pay attention, douchebags, because this one is well worth its weight in cryptographic tokens.

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ICO Review: RAVN

A few days ago, one of the people we follow on Twitter retweeted something from the account @ravnapp that began with “Who loves a sexy token?” Although we’re not entirely sure why the team behind RAVN chose a middle school student to develop their social media marketing strategy, we think that student deserves an A+ because we were moving faster than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest trying to click on that tweet. Sexy token? Yes, please!

So did we actually find a “sexy token” at the RAVN ICO website? That really depends on how you define “sexy.” If by “sexy” you mean a bloated, disgusting abomination that is antithetical to everything blockchain and cryptocurrency supposedly stand for, then yes…

Otherwise, no. Not even close…

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Ultimate Douchebag’s Guide to Launching an ICO Part 1: Build Your Pyramid Scheme Just Like the Egyptians Did With Free Labor

After spending the past month and a half writing about some of the worst aspects of the current “ICO ecosystem,” the only thing we have to show for it is one of our resident ass clowns 🍑🤡 getting doxed by an ICObench expert…

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ICO Review: PinkDate

Anyone who has launched a startup knows that it can be painfully difficult to come up with an elevator pitch that distills everything you’re trying to accomplish down to 5 words. So when you come across a project like PinkDate, which was designed to be”The Silk Road for Hookers,” you really have to wonder what the fuck they were thinking when they decided to go with “Escorting Meets the Sharing Economy” instead. 🤔

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“Games” Using ERC-721 Take the “Fun” Out of Non-Fungible

Unless you were living in one of John McAfee’s underground bunkers for the past nine months, you might recall that back in October of 2017, a new distributed application built on the Ethereum network called “CryptoKitties” had been released. For the first time, socially retarded ultra high net worth individuals (or “SRUHNWIs”) could throw their money […]

ICO Review: Pitch

According to its website, “PITCH allows innovative entrepreneurs to quickly launch token sales and sell a portion of tokens via live video pitches to seasoned business experts.” Given that a vast majority of ICOs right now suck ass 🍑 and the projects they’re funding are doomed to fail, can anyone possibly think a blockchain-based solution designed to make it even easier to launch an ICO is a good idea? Well, yes, actually…

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A Thank You Letter to ICObench (sort of)

On April 24, 2018, the ass clowns 🍑🤡 at Tokenicide posted an article called ICObench Warmer that provided clear and convincing evidence that several of the top-rated experts on ICObench were colluding with one another, ensuring that if a blockchain startup hired several of them for their advisory board, other ICObench experts would be sure to […]