Launching a Crypto Scam? Here’s What NOT to Do

We’ve researched quite a few ICO-related scams and discovered that the #1 reason scam ICOs fail is as follows:

Somebody realized it was a scam before the founders made off with the loot

So in an effort to help you up your flimflammery game, the ass clowns 🍑🤡 at Tokenicide have created this guide on what NOT to do when launching a scam ICO.

Disclaimer: We don’t like scams. That’s why we wrote this post. Hopefully our sense of humor isn’t so dry that you are unable to figure that out on your own, but just in case…

On May 7, 2018, we were cordially invited by a complete stranger to join a Facebook group for an upcoming ICO that we had never heard of. And since Tokenicide ass clowns 🍑🤡 are gluttons for punishment (just ask Mistress Helga von Spankenwiener if you have any doubt), we immediately accepted the invitation, no questions asked.

SO SCAM MUCH WOW

What we found in that Facebook group was the most blatantly obvious (and tragically pathetic) attempt at a scam ICO we had ever seen, providing such a bountiful harvest of red flags and warning signs that we decided an article highlighting them all would effectively write itself.

In addition to being gluttons for punishment, Tokenicide ass clowns 🍑🤡 are lazy af, ergo

We hope you enjoy this article highlighting all of the red flags and warning signs that we found in the Facebook Group of…

NASO ICO

According to the NASO ICO website:

The machine operation and the payment methods of NASA are completely obsolete. Remley Schmidt came up with an extraordinary solution! The NASO Coin will make the NASA crypto fit.

In layperson’s terms, it’s an ICO that has “something to do with NASA.” At least that’s the best we were able to come up with after reviewing the entire website and whitepaper. With that in mind, here is our list of what NOT to do when launching a scam ICO (courtesy of our newest Facebook friends 😊):

Don’t pick a stupid domain name

If you want to appear credible, make sure your domain name matches the name of your coin. Or your project. Or your company. If absolutely none of those are available, consider changing the name of your coin. Or your project. Or your company. But whatever you do, don’t pick the first available option from the “sorry chump, that domain is not available but how about one of these stupid domain names instead?” list. And if for some godforsaken reason you still feel compelled to go with the stupid domain name, at least TRY to come up with a credible explanation as to why you picked that stupid domain name…

Well I guess as long as your “department” won’t allow it. Stupid bureaucrats…😠

Don’t invite random strangers into your ICO Facebook group

If the goal of your scam ICO is to raise fucktons of money then skip town with it PRIOR to getting exposed as a scam, you should only invite the types of people into your Facebook Group who can help you achieve that goal. Otherwise, you may end up with the following:

1. People who have no fucking clue what a Bitcoin is (much less an ICO)…

Probably not going to get many contributions from these folks 😐

2. Tokenicide ass clowns…

NOT someone you want crashing your scam ICO’s Facebook group 🍑🤡

3. God forbid, a loser who is even more pathetic and annoying than yourself…

We couldn’t have made this shit up if we tried! 😂

Do not embrace transparency

Buzzwords like “transparency” and “decentralization” have become the parlance of the cryptocurrency community, so by all means please use them generously when talking about your project. But while giving lip service to transparency is one thing, IF YOU’RE TRYING TO PULL A SCAM YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY BE TRANSPARENT! So if someone posts in your Facebook Group that your scam ICO is actually a scam, you need to delete that shit immediately and ban whoever posted it. Pronto!

WAIT! WHAT? NO NO NO! DELETE DELETE DELETE! (groan) 😓

Finally, don’t use photos of actors who look creepy and homeless in your admin profile

In general it is a bad idea to use someone else’s image in your Facebook Group admin profile. It is a worse idea to use a photo of a famous actor. But for fuck’s sake, if you’re going to go to all that trouble anyway, why in God’s name would you pick an actor who looks creepy and homeless?!?

We’re just kidding! 😁 We’re all huge fans of Canadian actor … um … (psst, what’s his name again? oh yeah right) … Lothaire Bluteau

So there you have it! Our first article (in what we hope to be a series) designed to show you how NOT to launch (or better yet how to avoid falling prey to) Scam ICOs!

Have YOU seen any blatantly obvious (or tragically pathetic) attempts at scam ICOs you’d like to share with the Tokenicide community? Let us know in the comments below! 🍑🤡

Post Author: Grock

1 thought on “Launching a Crypto Scam? Here’s What NOT to Do

    Mistress Helga

    (May 9, 2018 - 2:00 am)

    Du freche kleine Clowns! Ich werde dich hart bestrafen!

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